Subtitled by: Samurai
Well, well. Boris the animal has a visitor
I guess one every 40 years is OK.
- It's a cake. - I decide what it is.
Look like some kind of cake.
She's clean. Well not clean but you know!!!
O God!
- Boris the animal, you got a visitor. - It's just Boris.
Your letters have been a soul nourishing time.
And you are much more
unconventionally handsome than your photos.
This isn't a conjugal visit, so quit your conjugating.
When's the last time you conjugated anything?
I see that you brought me carefully, baby!
Would you mind cutting this up for us? It's a special day.
I am a romantic like that.
Ohh I wouldn't do that. Why's that?
It will ruin your figure.
You complete me.
The big one.
Boris, you promised to take me with you we had a deal.
Obadiah Price! Yes! I did make you a promise.
Wait! I smell something.
You can't win Boris! Hmm, lets agree to disagree.
There’s to many of us. It's rather hot in here.
Mind if I open a window?
Sorry Darling we did love the cake.
Let's rewrite history, shall we K.
MEN IN BLACK III
Good afternoon. Please give your attention to my associate, Agent J.
He's going to demonstrate an electro-bio-mechanical neural transmitting
zero synapses. Repositioner We call it neuralizor.
Keep it simple Thanks a lot.
Thank you, Agent K Ladies and gentlemen. If you will, look right here.
Ok! You're on a airplane and the flight attendant asks to turn off mobile.
And I you think: I do not close, has no connection with the plane?
That’s what we get that’s what happens
it Get up there. Bounces around on the satellites, and Baum.
Turn the damn cell phone off Now you're gonna drop off a cliff
at night because your GPS Don't work.
scan the surface deposits and find who was driving this thing
Yes, sir.
- So? What you gonna say tonight? - Don't worry.
- No, i'm very worried. It's important. - I'm hungry. You hungry?
K!
Seriously, I'm not even sure that’s Meat, I think I just saw a tooth in that thing.
- Or ... a claw, a hoof. - Thank ,buddy.
That does not belong in a pita, it belongs in a casket.
- You know what would go well with this? Quiet tea!
- Well. The problem is this.
You can't smell it, because your nose already smell like that.
Well my nose doesn't, sounds good.
Have you ever tried or talking helps you breathe?
If you hate me, just say you hate me don't take it out on the car.
- Let me enjoy this. - whoa enjoyment.
So that’s what enjoyment looks like on that face I like that emotion
I keep emotion out of it Out of what K...Life???
Sure you do not want to run it by me let me know what you're gonna say tonight.
Don't worry. Oh, I'm worried, very worried.
It's the main eulogy. You have to show some feeling.
You know those things that human people do
when they change the expression on their face
I worked with Z for 40 years I have written a hell of a speech for him.
- People will be moved - Hm Hm.
And now a few words from K. Agent
I worked with Z for over 40 years and all that time he never invited me to dinner,
He never asked me to his house to watch a game,
He never shared a single detail of his personal life.
He's moved.
Thank you.
And now, we will hear from our new chief, agent O.
Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.
- That was your eulogy? - He was a good man.
Ladies gentlemen, other life forms.
When I told the finuciana about Z's passing
she said something that I'm going to repeat.
And I'm paraphrasing.
(Two top degeþele who know how to translate!)
That was so sad, Thank you.
- Have you lost something? - Can you promise me if I go first
you'll do better than that at my funeral.
Yeah something like ahh. J was a friend.
Now there’s a big part of me that’s gone.
Ohh J! All the thing that I should have said.
I was too old, cranky, and. Surly, That was tight
It was too tight.
Now I'm gonna just miss your caramel, Brown skin
I will invent something.
K,It's O.There are reports about people arrive.
Suffering from intestinal worms
of alien origin.
Thanks, O.
How did you get to be like you Seriously, something happened, K. What? Happened.
You know how I lived such a happy life.
How you lived such a happy life?
I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer too.
Very deep.
Jiff !
- Do I know you. - Your services are legendary
- your father, Obadiah. - So you were in lunar max.
There is no prison that can hold me.
Good for you. What you need from me, man?
The Device. I'm going back in time to kill a man before he takes my arm.
Ohh! K! J! So happy to see you Mr.Woo get you your regular table.
- You no hungry. - Show us the tanks, Woo!
Sure, sure! I take a look. Very fresh !
Show us the tanks in the back.
Ah Ah Sorry no speak English, you come back later OK.
Leave this bullshit for the tourists, Woo.
- Hey why do you guys want to bust my ball for?
- You don't have any balls, Woo.
Oh, man, you like you come from another planet. Damn!
Bob And this is a clear violation of Health ordinance 32,
Selling unlicensed and illegal alien
Food stuff
That is an Earth fish Very traditional in China.
If you arrest me, that’s a hate crime
it Would be if you were Chinese.
K, come on.
- Who is Spinosa this? - No one.
- who’s it for. - I keep them just in case.
In case what? I don't know, anybody.
He and I, are having issues in our relationship right now
but you shouldn't have to suffer for that.
Thank you, J!
So if you don't like getting fish slapped,
I'm gonna need you to keep to our agreement.
Earth people, get Earth Fish, real Earth fish.
On behalf of my pathetic self, and worthless children.
You stay and allow me serving you in no time with favourite noodle cake.
No one wants your Noodles
You're a piece of shit, Woo.
Here is your toy We will stay here for awhile.
That was just mean
What you did to Woo back there.
It's disrespectful
I used to play a game with my dad what would you have for your last meal.
You could do worse than this.
Ohh Ok! I used to play a game with my dad called Catch!
I would throw the ball and it would just hit the wall, cause he wasn't there.
Don't badmouth your old man.
I'm not badmouthing him, its that I didn't really know him.
Its not right.
- A little boy needs a father. - Table 1 hasn't ordered a thing
table three over there, just drank his fourth.
K, crashed ship reported as stolen.
- Lunar-Max prison Boris the animal. - How did you know??
Always had a taste for spiky Give us a minute will you chief.
- We have a situation. - Yeah.
I'll take the cloropod, you take the hidronianul over there.
Then clean the kitchen and see us out.
This is a very confusing time in my life
Keep your mouth closed, keep your head down!
Hello, K!
- Boris the animal. - Its just Boris.
You haven't changed very much.
I see the arm, I sawed off, is still sawed off.
Yes! My arm.
We've thought about that moment every day for the last 40 years.
That’s just not living a full life
- I can promise you it will be longer than yours. - Lonely too.
- Since your last Boglodit Standing. - We'll see about that
but first I wanted the pleasure of killing you.
K!
- Where the hell have you been. - Fishing!
You don't know, K, but you're already dead.
Are you alright.
Can I have everyone’s attention, please!
Thank you. Ok! You know how your kid won that Goldfish
in that little baggy from the school fair, and you don't want that nasty thing
your house So you told your kid it ran away.
But what you really did was flush it down the toilet.
Well, this is what happens.
OK so, do you see what is that all about? Don't lie to your kid
I'm getting too old for this, I can only imagine how you feel
Boris the animal. I put him away a long time
ago, its the worst mistake I ever made.
- Why? Was he innocent? - I should have killed him.
- Well, lets go and get him. - No!
- No? Breaking the law. - It's above your pay grade.
- We're partners, we have the same pay grade.
- It has nothing to do with you!
- Mind your own business. - OK.
First of all get rid of a little bass out your voice
and secondly as long as spiky boy is running
round town, this is my whole business.
You will Forget about Boris.Or my report will
reflect, that your conduct was unbecoming.
And maybe my report is gonna reflect some shit to OK.
- You are suspended for two weeks. - Bullshit.
Four ... weeks.
How about I quit?
There are things ot there, that you don't need to know.
That’s not the lie you told when you recruited me.
- How are you doing, Grandpa? - You lose your partner?
Last ship for Almazalbab leave in 22 minutes
- Search Boris the animal! - Boris the animal! Boglodite assassin.
Boglodites are alian race that Dried up all planets in their past
Boris the animal was the only suspect in a series of alien murders.
- Committed on Earth. - Incident report
Boris the animal was convicted for the following
murders that occurred on July 15th 1969.
Murder no. 1: Coney Island, 10:37 AM Roman the fabulist.
- Murder #2. the factory. - Refine search.
- Agent K.
- Agent K Jr. caught and arrested Boris the animal
on July 16 '69 at Cape Canaveral, Florida.
- Cape Canaveral. - Agent K received
the highest commendation for heroic action
including implementation Arc net Defense System,
which protected the Earth from a Boglodite invasion,
- And led to the races extinction. - Details.
- Access restricted. - Excuse me.
Clearance level Senior Agent, class 1, J.
- Access denied. - What?
Why this sudden interest in your partners old exploits.
What happened between Boris and K?
That's easy. K imprisoned Boris,
Put up the Arc net protected the Earth from the Boglodites ...
He did his job.
That's not what I'm asking you.
Cape Canaveral. What happened?
Something that changed him.
Leave it at that.
So you two go way back.
That's classified.
A word of advice, agent J don't ask questions,
you don't want to know the answer to.
That is Funny!, that is exactly what K says.
He's a very wise man.
Take the rest of the night off.
- What? - Guess I owe you some answers.
What you feeling chatty all of a sudden Sorry, I can't talk right now.
I got some secret cases of my own I'm working on
let me tear you away from the video game.
Alright, I'm hanging up.
You know the most destructive force in the universe?
- Sugar? - Regret.
You don't have to wait just talk.
promised secrets of the universe. Nothing more.
So what, Is there secrets out there that the universe don't know about.
Can I help you??
K?
5K.
I'm sorry, is that chocolate milk.
Excuse me. I do not know why ...
Mam, He drinks my milk.
I'm sorry!
He didn't say "Please".
- K has come? - Who?
- Are you new? - Very funny, Agent J.
J, everything you told me yesterday, you were right as rain.
Thank God for.
And who are you?
Exactly. I'm a whole new man today. This great weight has been lifted
I've had these anger issues my entire life, but now I can see I was just mad at myself.
- And my step mother. - Sir, I'm gonna need you to stop talking
Its like I closed this emotional window.
But yesterday I threw a brick right through that the window
and I just want to thank you for handing me that brick.
Okay, whoever you are, I need you get away
five feet or I'm gonna lock you by the throat.
OK, I'm going to the black-room
and then we'll go find those morons The bogs and Th-era. Lunch is on me.
- Who was that? - Double A, your partner.
I'm gonna need you go get me some chocolate milk, alright just a really big glass.
And have you seen K? Did he call in sick or anything.
Who is K?
Okay, okay!
K, alright you got me
I'll give it to you its funny. Very elaborate,
Oh and all of you, very classy performances
I can't believe you waited 14 years to develop a sense of humor,
but this is a good one
but K, I need to come round here now, cause I'm
really starting to get a little bit pissed off.
Agent J, would you mind keeping your voice
down And tell me who it is you're looking for.
- I'm looking for K. - Who is K?
- You too, you too!! - I mean who is he to you.
My partner. Older gentleman.
110, maybe 111 years. Sort of a surly, Elvis thing happening.
When he smiles, like this... Seen him around??
- I'll take you to K. - Thank you!
What is that supposed to be.
That’s K He's been dead for over 40 years.
Hmm OK, so you can prove that that this was a joke.
Its has to be funny.
Computer, Agent K and Boris the Animal.
Men in black. Incident Report 16 July '69.
Location: Cape Canaveral.
Perpetrator Boris the animal escaped and fled Earth.
It is assumed that he returned to home planet 20 light years away.
Agent K, pronounced dead at scene and awarded posthumous commendation
for meritorious actions that prevented greater loss of human lives.
That's not what happened.
I just looked at this report K put boris away.
Agent K is dead.
- I just talked to him last night. - You are imagining things.
I'm not imagining anything.
- Team of psychologists here. - Yes, ma'am!
Aqua Velva aftershave. I didn't imagined that.
For every stakeout endless hours of cowboy music.
Every morning with his coffee he'd say.
This coffee tastes like dirt.
And I was supposed to say what do you expect?
It was just ground this morning.
How do you know that?
Chocolate milk, sir!
Where you been man, It was an hour ago.
Wait ! how long have you been craving chocolatey dairy products?
Just for Today.
Are you experiencing headache, dizziness. Loss of balance?...Hmm.
- Agitation depression? - Ohh Yes!
There are only two possibilities.
One is You've been bitten back of your brain,
and could die in horrible agony at any moment.
Damn! It's not the Tick.
Damn! It it not the Tick.
There’s something worse than the Tick?
Your obsession with chocolate milk indicates that you
might be involved in some sort of temporal fracture.
I don't know what your talking about
chocolate milk relieves temporal fracture headache...
What's a temporal fracture?
A break in the time lines
I don't know what your talking about.
Time travel...Time travel.
There’s no such thing as time travel.
- Well there is. - No, there’s not
because if there were.
A class one senior agent such as myself, would
have been made aware of it wouldn't he have??
Were it not not classified and way above his pay grade.
You know what? I need a raise.
There was one man Obadiah Price. He discovered how to do so,
We made time travel illegal, throughout the universe
and he is serving life on LunarMax.
That’s where Boris was locked up.
If Boris could work it out how to time travel,
He could seriously change the course of history.
Attention early warnings have been engaged Hostile warship entering.
Solar System.
Boglodite markings and language detected.
Boglodite? Boris is a boglodit, but they're extinct.
- Apparently not.. catastrophic .Earth attack- Imminent.
- Turn on the Arc net! - The What?
The Arc net! Defense system! K got it specifically for the boglodites.
There is no K! He's been dead for over 40 years.
No K. No defense system Boris jumped back and killed him.
If you want to save the world. You're going to have to stop that from happening.
You have to find Jeffrey Price, He's Obadiah's son.
Describes him as skipped town.
Cheers, J! This planet is gone.
Hello how can I help you? We have everything
you need in this store and batteries.
Whoa Okay, we got other stuff like headphones, adapters.
You helped Boris the animal time jump.
Whoa, whoa OK I had to.
He killed my partner!
I want to know when and where you sent! HIM.
What you think like I keep a log book.
Target Vector target: July 161969. Alright, alright.
That’s a real bummer, about your buddy I'm sure that he was a really great guy
but in the whole of space-time continuum your friend
was just a little blip, on the historical radar.
Oh, that's a big blip.
- Ok! What's the plan? - Your gonna send me back to July 15, 1969.
No! That’s a a stupid plan because I sent Boris to July 15th
I'm not worried about that. I'm gonna go back and kill the younger Boris.
- Before the older one even shows. - That way neither of them will even exist.
That's why you get to wear the Black suit.
Ok! Oh! I just thought of something You know,
either way back then, New York was like a big city.
- So How? Are you gonna really find him. - On July 15 Boris killed
an alien. Roman the fabulist at Coney Island.
And you get there first, and be waiting for him.
Dude they should give you two black suits. My man for real.
OH Right! Sorry!
This is the real deal. Time jump gear Very rare, very old.
But first we gotta get high.
- Hey No! - No, no, I mean really high.
Listen! Help me?
Thank you! Ok!
- You know the rules of time jump, right? - Give me the short version.
Ok! If you want to save your partner a word
of advise Stay away from him. Yeah I got it?
Yes, I got it. Stay away from K.. just kill Boris.
Now Take these,Cause it is windy on the way down.
On the way down??
With your eyes blurring, its hard to read the time dial
plus it help you look like a real time traveler. Which is cool!
I am not jumping off of this building.
Time jump.
Ok! Now you got to set this thing to the 15th.
That seems right...Guess.
Now all you gotta do is jump.
Hey! Hey! Stop, stop.
As soon as you're moving fast enough that circle is gonna throw up some sort of
green time travel liquid and its gonna glow really bright.
As soon as that happens, you need to break that line
thumb to complete the circuit.
At the height that should be ..err Lets see.
- Mass of Earth 30 something feet per minute.
- There's 32 feet per second, per second.
That sounds right...ish.
So that would be I guess about 2 feet off the ground.
- Or break the laser line. - No! Don't break it.
- When fast enough. - Sounds good.
Damn! Do I break the laser line, or do I not break the laser line.
Do not lose that time device! Or You will be stuck in 1969.
Wasn't the best time for your people.
I'm just saying. Its a lot cooler now.. How will I know if it works.
You'll either know, or you wont.
- You must really love this guy to do this. - Wait!
How can I remember K, but nobody else does.
- That means you were there. - I was where?
If you survive you gotta come back and tell me everything...OK.
What was that.
You gotta go...Go..go ..go
July 15, 1969, 9:12 AM.
O Lord!
Go!!
Wall Street drop! Billions lost in new stock.
War is over!
- Oh man, what's today? - Tuesday!
- The date. - The 15th .OF
- - July?
- The year? - 1969.
Thank you. Looking at me like I'm crazy.
Yes!
- Get us checked in. - Yes! Yes!
Hey! Hey! Do me a favor, right be careful with the luggage.
Absolutely sir.
- We'll take great care. - Last time I was here it got scratched up
I had to replace it.
For you, sir. Contact the Assistance when you need.
- But there are other bags in the trunk. - Yes! You send them the room.
You can go quiet.
Excuse! Who is that? Who you are?
Lets go.
- Far out man! - I advise you not to touch it
- - Make your love, not war!
I prefer to do both.
Alright officers What can I do for you?
Well look at this, power windows power seats.
- I bet you this thing cost $ 6000. - Yes! And has a roof, but its hidden.
Hey! What kind of work do you do An individual with your particular
ethnic persuasion.
Maybe he's a noted athlete.
Yes! Starting Forward for the Detroit Darkies.
- Where'd you get the car. - And the suit?
I stole them both, car from your wife suit from your grandmother.
- Hey What do we have here? Concealed weapon?
- Hey! Its His grandmother's suit.
- What's this. - Probably drugs.
Listen, I have rights and I demand to see my lawyer before you
you press that small button on the side firmly.
Push! it.
That, gentlemen, is a standard issue neuralizor.
Right you're not gonna remember that.
Just because you see a black man driving in a nice car, ,Does not mean its stolen
I stole that one but not cos I'm black!
Freak out with the time in a minute.
Find it and take it back to Roosevelt. Hotel.
- Where is the arcanianan? - You are too late!
He is going to give humans the Arc net.
Let's agree to disagree.
- We'll take it from here. - K? K!
Dad ..I'm on Earth I need bail.
You need to turn the electricity down on that damned thing.
Can't taste my Freaking tongue, K !.
How do you know my name?
What? Because I called you K? I call everybody K. It's kinda my thing.
You're wanted K?
Its kinda my thing
It's just Some people like it Most people.
Now I know what you look like when you're lying.
Tell me what you look like when you're telling the truth
I won those at Coney Island. On the
I won stuff there once but never one of these. Must be good
sir. I was minding my own business
I was out there waiting for my girl who by the way
is probably worried sick, looking for me, right now.
So...I need my things, and I need to get back to her.
What's your girls name.
Your girl, whats her name.
Shteron
Shteron?!
I bet that Shteron likes that suit of yours.
Why? Is it a crime to wear a black suit?
Alright listen! I did not do anything wrong, ,and I need to get out of here.
Sir! I cannot be here with you.
Terribly sorry X frightfully upset, about the whole Coney Island incident...
Thanks for the heads up.
O Man This coffee tastes like dirt.
What do you expect.
It was just ground this morning.
O??
I call ladies O.
To me O Is feminine K is masculine.
And when I see a couple: OK.
- Any casualties? - Yes. Roman the fabulist.
- Any Human casualties? - No, sir.
Who the hell is this?
- look I. - A stray human, he was caught in the mess.
Code 43 and throw it back. ...
You will be late for meeting with the Viagranii Have a revolutionary new pill...
It's very ...
Okay, spill.
- I was waiting for my girl. - Shteron?
Yes, She's Greek.
Okay. One last thing. An eye exam.
That's not eye exam, K? That's a big damn Neuralizor.
You have a lot of information for someone who does not know anything.
I see what your saying, but You know what, K?
We need to hold up a second.
- put it in here. Open your mouth ! - Back up.
K, listen. I think we got off on the wrong foot just listen and talk.
Don't put me in here K.
- Turn it on.
- K, listen to me. I can help you with this case
- K! I am telling you the truth, you are missing it
- I use my imagination.
The killer your looking for I'm after the
same guy He's a Boglodit. His name is Boris.
Ship for sale.
- K, if we don't get him now there will be two of him.
- You have my undivided attention.
One 'll have one arm, one will have two. K, listen to me!
If we erase me...we erase the whole world.
15 seconds to neutralization.
14, 13, 12
11, 10, 9
When you see Boris tomorrow Kill it, K!
Do not arrest. Kill him.
4, 3, 2
Is this thing off? I do not think everything is okay.
He still spins and buzz.
I don't know if I know anything about this
I knew Roman. His wife cooked me dinner once,
and while it was not pleasant he was My friend
Last chance, Who are you and what do you know?
I am an agent of "Men in Black" but I'm from the future. We're partners.
25 years from now you're gonna recruit me
and 14 years after, the guy you didn't let me kill today in Coney Island
he escapes from prison, and jumps back in the past
and unleashes a full scale invasion of Earth.
We have about 19 hours to catch him and kill him So we have to go right now.
Right.
So that's the story you believe.
That one was the truth. It wasn't the whole truth, but I guess it'll do for now.
What are you talking about? Of course its the whole truth.
I told you everything. The problem with a lie,
is once you start lying... You put your.
Agent K! What's he still doing here?
I might have kept him for too long
I thought It would be better to walk him out
I put my pants on.
OK, future man where to??
- I don't know!? - What do you mean you don't know?
I don't know. Go wherever you went last time.
I haven't been here last time I didn't tell you where I went.
No! We don't really talk.
What kind of partners sit in a car all day every day, for 14 years and don't talk?
Exactly! And this is the type of problem they call dysfunctional.
All right sport.you better get useful real quick, or you're going back to room 43.
Man!
There was something in the file about a factory.
Something happened at a factory.
Hey look Man, you can put your Jedi Knight on me all you want, that’s all I got.
- Did I start something? - Roman had this on when he was murdered.
- its a matchbook. - No.
It's a clue, He didn't smoke.
- Did you lose something over here Hondo. - No!
Hey Man! How old are you?
- 29. - You have city miles on you.
I am starting to understand why we don't talk.
- Well, You know this place - No, I know its reputation.
I hate going in blind I'll need my gun.
- Sure thing slick. - Well, K!
No! I have to go in with you.
- you just sit tight I'll be fine. - Wait! No!
K! K, don't go in by your self.
- Hi fellas need to see the boss. - He's busy!
All right. Why don't I just take a look around.
- Looks like we got ourselves in a stand-off.
- Looks that way.
Still keep the key under the ash tray
lucky guess.
- Now where were we?
- I was just about to tell you to screw off.
- Hey, Slick You bowl in the future?
- Absolutely MIB League champ, 3 years running.
Let's see.
Ohh you can't just break into my establishment and rip my head off.
My man look, we don't have a lot of time for this!
You really need to tell him something.
- I tell him this! - ok, It's your head.
Wait! Hey If you do this
I'm gonna hunt you down And I will make sure you walk funny.
Two spare, slick
You miss with the wrong head.
- His head is little. - Won't you tell us where don is?
I'll kill you both! I swear I'll kill both of you.
- Ow! - He thinks it hearts a little, do you want me to clean it?
- Yeah, sure. Here is your thing. - No! No! No! Ahh come on.
Alright he's in the back But he's not going to talk to any
men in black scum like you, now give me back my head.
K, I call this one lower hanging fruit.
That isn't a finger hole you thick.
- Um-mm - I'll kill both of you.
- Well we're on the right track. - Its The wrong train.
If you had any secrets, you can guess who spilled em.
A smart man would figure out what Your victims have in common.
A smart man would.
That's a big ass phone.
- Don't you put it to your head. - Agent O.
How was your day, Agent K?
- Well fair to middling.How are things going with you? - Very good Thank you.
You saw it like an hour ago.
I need clean up and containment now listen I got a dead Parlaxian.
Roman was a Bivoid.
Now Correct me if I'm wrong from the same planetary group.
Yes, a free planet system in the Triangular Galaxy, wiped out by the Boglodites.
And that third planet wasn't it Glamoria.
Thank you, miss O.
We know where Boris is headed to next. lts your clue, slick.
It's not a factor, its the factor. (Andy Warhol studio)
Alright, Look ! if Boris turns up, and I'm going to kill him, I need my gun.
No deal
I have been an agent for 14 years, which means I am the senior agent on this case.
Now I hate to pull rank but as senior agent,
I am instructing my junior agent. That’s you
to give me my gun, right now that’s an order.
No. No, no. Space gun.
You're welcome.
I did say "Thank you".
For a species so in space fared better on Earth.
Yes.I was an agent for three years before I realised all models were aliens
I find out by the hard way.
- Password. - Hey, look, 1960s Dude.
- We don't have a lot of time. - Janice Chaplin.
Anybody here who's not an alien.
Very nice. Wait, look at the camera.
Is That Andy Warhol?
Yes.
Excuse me, Mr. Warhol, can we have a minute?
No its not a good time. This is divine.
Just a few questions.
No questions, no answers.
We have an urgent matter we'd like to discuss
with you regarding one of your party guests.
Why don't you come back next week After the happening
I'm sorry Mr Warhol. You'd like to talk a little slow, we got important stuff to do.
And I have a planet to save.
Your behavior hurt me.
God Damn it, K! Are you trying to blow my cover.
- Agent W, your cover is safe. - Whoa! Andy Warhol is one of us?
I am full of ideas painting soup cans and bananas! For Christs sake
Actually Mr. Warhol, I gotta tell you I really love your work.
Ohh - thank you. Who's the dumb ass?
Whoa, Hey! How about a little professional courtesy here.
- What's that dumb ass? - Say it again.
- Do you want me to? - I dare you
- Dumb ass. - Agents.
You know, I will have no problem pant slapping the shizm out of Andy Warhol.
What?
Why are you looking at me?
Ohh alright you know what Agent K, while you
see what information, you can get from agent W
and I'll go take the perimeter.
- Yes? How about that? - Nice.
- OK? - Very nice.
Don't he forget his nap?
Hey! How are you doing?
Who is that guy? Don't tell me he's your new partner.
Actually, he's my old partner.
He traveled back from the future to save the planet.
Jesus, don't tell me I don't want to know.
Andy coco's here.
Well tell her that I'm coming, just now I'm eating a hamburger.
It's transcendent. Alright Now the pickles...
So how are you doing in my area, K?
Tracking a killer Boglodite. We have reason, to
believe he's gonna hit here next. Glamorian.
Glamorian? That solar system wrong planet. I think he's after a Arcanian.
- Arcanians are extinct. - Apparently not.
One lost a store last week the whole Roswell circus.
Alien unicorn, the last of the species. His names Griffin.
Griffin, Arcanianul.
How's it going?
How's it going? Well it depends. For me personally is good.
But if, of course we're in a possible future.
The Body of the future where the door is where the
door gets into an argument over his girl friend
to hit the guy stuffed mushrooms and that in turn it strikes the sailor
crush coffee table here,in which case I get to lose my one right now.
Or if its the possible future in which this pastrami
sandwich I'm eating causes me gastric distress
but thankfully your friends will offer some of
the antacids he carries in his right pocket,
So I'll be good.
Except in the case of the possible future where
I have to leave in two and half minutes,
just before, he has the chance to offer me the
antacids on the whole I'd have to say, Iam not good
I am not good.
But that depends.
K.
- How we gonna find this guy. - What am I a schmuck.
- Why? He's here? - Here is a relative term.
He's a fifth dimensional being they Can live and then visualize
- in infinite space time Simultaneously. - Sounds like fun Good work.
K! K!
You gotta fake my death. Well? K! I can't dismiss the pop music anymore.
- I'll See what I can do. I'll talk to X. - K,I can't tell women form men!
- May I see a watch? - Ohh it is. 7:18.
No! Your other watch The one your father gave you.
- How do you know about my Fathers watch. - Ohhh, Dear.
This is the one where Roman is dead ... And the Gentleman at the bowling alley.
So much death
such an infinitesimally small chance for a success.
- K! - Griffin, right?
- We are here ... - because of Boris the animal.
Correct we have reason to believe he may be coming,
He'll be here in two minutes
unless of course we are in a possible future where he made and got here earlier
where he's just about to discharge a weapon from the doorway.
In this case we're all dead in two seconds.
- Ah! Good that was a close one. - K!! I need the gun space.
The Boglodites consume any Planet in their path.
Mine, Roman's ...the polaxians I tried to stop them, but.
We can stop them here, if we can deny them Earth, we can stop them forever.
They'll starve before they reach the next planet!
- 63 seconds! - How do we do this, stop them.
Sorry, I have something for you. A gift! It can protect! You
I had to hide it from Boris, but if he find me again ... I'll give it to you.
Thank you... What a game amazing, a real miracle Whoa whoa...
- What do you mean? What miracle? - About 30 seconds.I have to go!
- Wait! Wait!! No we got you. - Negative Probabilities are multiplying.
As we speak! 20 seconds. Alright.
- Calm! Calm! - Your watch is broken.
And I have gastric distress.. What is your place in the world.
Oh, dear.
This is the one where Boris is coming through that over 12, 11, 10 ...
Wait! Did You have chocolate milk this morning?
- Yes! - Sandy!
- K! The window! - Got it.
Damn it!
- Good good what you got? - Nothing.
- Damn it! We had him. - Relax, Cochise We'll find him.
First of all, my name is J! OK Its not Sam, its
not slick, and it Damned sure ain’t Cochise.
And i won’t relax because we are running out of time
we're running out of clues, and an invasion is coming
and you're not really recognizing my voiciall intensity.
But there was one guy who can help Hey! Griffin!
Griffin! Where's Griffin! Where's Griffin, K? He's gone.
If Boris get to him before we do That's no Bueno!
- We need pie. - What?
My grandaddy always said if you got a problem that you can't solve.
Helps get it out of your head.
- A pie? - Yes.
- your grandaddy, have you seen him? - A little bit.
You know what we been doing smart stuff We've been following clues.
Involving real police work It might be time we do something stupid.
Something that ain’t got nothing to do with nothing.
Do you know what! Now I want some pie K I want some pie.
Let's go get some dumb ass pie.
Sounds good.
- Have you any specials? - My associate always has the same thing.
He always has, after he looks at the menu for
10 minutes, and asks about the specials twice.
He's gonna have a slice of apple pie with a nasty piece of cheddar
I'm gonna have the Strawberry rhubarb.
Since its my last meal, I'm gonna splurge a little bit.
World class serial killer out there and we're having pie.
What you do with your spare time?
You see, I sense you aren't embracing the concept here.
Pie don't work unless you let it
I'm gonna let it.
And you said we don't talk, right? go ask me any question, anything you want
just as long as it doesn't have anything to do with the case...Just let her rip
What is between you and O?
- Me and O. - Yes. You and O.
Alright.
A while back, I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician Mick Jagger.
He was in this British group,
- Rolling Stones. - Rings a bell.
We believe he's on the Planet to breed with earth women.
So I was in London and that’s when I met O.
She's smart, funny, great smile.
And we find ourselves in this pub, warm beer and the worst food you ever ate.
We just played darts till the sun came up.
Neither of us wanted to leave.
What the hell happened to you, man?
I do not know, it hasn't happened yet.
Come on! what about you slick? In the future you got yourself a girl?
I got you.
I can not believe this New York Mets!
It's a rough time to be a Mets fans.
Tell me about it? Never gonna catch the cubs.
Funny. The Mets actually win it all this year.
- Oh Yeah. - No I'm serious. Man its true
I'm sure.
Three months from now your buddies down there are gonna be calling on you.
"Amazing Mets" and "Miracle Mets".
What?
What you got there?
the Arcanian said: "It's amazing. It's a miracle. See you at the game"
- I know where he is. - Told you to trust the pie.
If Griffin is here for a game He's either too early or too late.
He's here. You just gotta find him before Boris does.
It's time to give you things back, partner.
I see you only ate some pie and you become more all mushy
I'm just time to carry your stuff
Ohh, Come on! Let's go, Mets! Let's go, Mets!
- Let's go, Mets! - Griffin.
You're just in time, unless this is the one where Robinson bad
and pass the third It's almost over.
- Did we miss something? - The game.
- So this is how you see things, this is amazing
- It's a gigantic pain in the ass.
But it has its moments.
But this game doesn't happen till October. Right?
It's always October and November, and March.
So many futures, and they're all real.
Just don't know which one we'll call off till then they're all happening.
Like this one, my favourite moment in human history.
All the things that have to converge.
For the Mets to win the World Series. They were in last place
every single season until they won it all.
- You said you have a gift for us. - That baseball, for instance
thrown for the last in the game Manufatured at 1962
by the Spalding company in Chicopee, Massachusetts
was aerodynamically flawed
improperly canned
because She opened it left him for a Puerto Rican.
Golf pro, that sunday
- the Gift? - Ohh yes of course, its in the box.
Its a surprise. To protect the Earth. It's a shield.
Shield ... Arcanian ... Arc Net.
That's what you did. You put up the Arc net.
How did I do that?
When that ball is pitched to Davey Johnson, who only became a baseball player,
because his father could not find a football
to give him for his 8th birthday
strikes a hit too fast causing him to pop up
Cleon Jones, who would have been born Clara,
a statistical typist if their parents didn't have an
extra glass of wine that night before going to bed.
A miracle is what seems impossible, but happens anyway.
I lost my planet.
I don't want you to lose yours.
It will take a miracle, but if you pull this off.
You'll be my new favourite moment in human history.
Oh, dear.
I forgot to see this one coming.
Damn.
- You have these in the future? - No.
Get off
keep all the settings to zero gain
Balance center stop between 80 and 100 PSI.
I didn't understand any of that.
- Gyro zero. Gain. - It is.
Direction of short bursts on the central bar.
I did.
Between 80 and 100 PSI.
I got it.
- Give me Arc Net.
- I do not think it's the future where it get.
- Are you well, and boss? - Yes. It'd be better on four wheels.
Two wheels are My minimum!
What happens if Boris get the Arc Net?
Boglodite invasion
total destruction of Earth.
The box.
Good boy.
Gotta stop this guy.
I've tried. You do not?
Hey slick, in the future do we have any "Texas Two Step??"
Yes, sir.
- Did you get him? - Give me a second.
- Is he dead? - Negative.
He got away
well I've got Griffin. Lets Get out of here.
I feel younger already
July 16, 1969, 3:06.
You Pathetic waste of Boglodite flesh.
I'd kill you right now if I didn't value my own life me and price your own life.
Who are you?
Look at you. Every mistake that I made it.
- Just waiting to happen. - What happened to my arm?
- You lose it. Shot off by a human. - No human can defeat me.
You spend the next 40 years in prison.
Chained up like an animal.
- No prison can hold me. - They build one specially for us.
On the moon.
No human has been to the moon So they cannot have built it there already.
Stop arguing, you can avoid all of this if you just listen to me.
You were defeated, you let it get shot off, it wasn't me. It was you.
- What is your plan? - Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed.
- Kill anyone who tries. - Good plan. Didn't work.
With my help we take Arc Net.
Kill Agent K the invasion will be successful.
And we get to keep both of our arms.
Stop staring at it.
Listen.
- Are you alright? - Yeah, Thank you for saving my life.
It's what we do.
You still have the ArcNetul?
When you're being hunted by Boris the animal you get good at hiding things.
This will save your world.
Once its Outside the atmosphere it gets a whole lot bigger.
- All you have to do is deploy it.
- Where? In space? How you suppose we do that.
It's just one small step.
Launching to the Moon. Today.
Moon launch.
Cape Canaveral!
July 16, 1969.
We have 6:00 to get to Florida.
- better get a move on. - Wait! Hold up.
Not us, I'm gonna do this one alone.
No! He has to be the one..
What do you mean alone?
Means, I'm gonna go to Florida and you're gonna stay here.
I need you to trust me on this one.
Trust you? I don't think so.
There is something you're not telling me, slick?
- I'm telling you you're not going to Florida.
- That ain’t going to happen, partner.
K, please. I will not allow you to go to Florida.
Stop me.
You die there.
At Cape Canaveral. Apollo launch!
Boris kills you there.
That’s what I'm here for That's what I came back to stop.
Oh, dear We are in this one.
K, I saw the file, I looked at the report.
I know I said that I told you everything, but you got to.
- That's for lying to me. - Look I'm sorry Man.
And that's for telling me the truth.
Trying to protect you, man.
The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lie.
He has to go to Cape Canaveral.
You must deploy the ArcNet as he did before.
There is no other way.
K is the only hope of saving Earth.
Can I save him? Is there any future where I save his life?.
Yes ...
but where there is death. There will always be death.
According to you I've done this before So we know its possible.
If you're half the agent you say you are you make sure I don't get killed doing it.
So, we are partners? You tell me
lets go.
- Agent K, how are you. - I'm good.
Ok! Group hug on your way to do what we're doing
Good morning, man is about to lunch himself for a trip to the Moon.
With the expectation of landing there.
There's something I have to ask you, If we pull this off
Things return the way they are
O and I .....?
A wise old man once told me:
((Do not ask questions that do not want to know the answer to)).
- I said that, didn't I? - Yes, sir.
- Here they are. - What are they?
- Jet Pack! - Jet Pack? (Jet Pack)
We're not doing Jet-packs There's a reason we don't have these things in the future.
K, we got to drive
You drive from Florida to Manhattan in 5:00 hours Chief.
Yes! We can! The Red button standard issue in every MIB car, you press the red button.
Goes into hyper-drive.
No red buttons here, slick.
Come on! Man.
Even don't know how to work this stupid thing.
Like all everything. You have to strap yourself in, and hope for the best..
- Isn't that right Miss O? - Unfortunately it is.
- Are you ready, slick? - Lets do it.
This is going to be interesting.
Ohh god, This is not one of the times we explode
We've got company.
What the hell!?
Is that a battery Belt?
Alright, I got it.
No!
In the reality that gets the shield deployed.
Its one when you tell the truth.
- The truth? - The truth is the only path.
This is a restricted area.
Yes, sir, it is.
Good day, gentlemen. It's a great day for America, Isn't it?
My name is agent J, this is agent K that's Griff.
We're from a secret government organization.
That polices and monitors alien activity.
On and off of Planet Earth.
Now here’s the thing we got this special little metal thing,
that Griff gave us and we have to get it on top of that rocket
to prevent an alien invasion.
- That worked. - Like a charm.
Sir, Delta gang, we may have a problem Three trespassers.
No ID's, but they got weapons, sir. The kind I've never seen before.
What breed of damn fools To penetrate my launch site on the day of
the most massive feat ever attempted by Mankind?
Blessed by God, the population of the entire planet and my own first born.
Colonel, they had these.
They said they need to put something on the rocket for an invasion.
- Thank you! - I got 10 minutes to launch.
If you pose a threat to that rocket, you tell me now
and do not lie to me!
I told the truth last time.
Sir, this man came from the future to protect me so
So, I could attach a shield to the top of that rocket shield and save the world.
But we need your help. To do that.
- Take them to the brig. - You losing, Griff!
Sir, if I may...
Corporal, Your men are no longer needed! I'll take the prisoners.
- Sir! - You're dismissed.
Follow me.
OK you did the future thing on him! What did you show him.
Only what he needed to see I have to go now!
- What? No! No! Come on. - You don't need me anymore.
Hey Griff, don't start flipping on me, I need you to.
When Boris's arm is taken the past will be as it was. K will survive.
He Will not know that you ever were here.
Alright Arm gone ..Got it right a reset!
When that happens, go home. Leave.
- Hey, slick! You are coming? - Yes! Alright.
- Thank man. will we ever see you again? - Anything is possible.
Griff!
I Can never bear to watch this part.
Touchdown Armstrong and Aldrin are scheduled
to land on the moon early Monday morning.
Eastern daylight Time.
- Where's Griffin? - Doing his own thing.
Gentlemen!
This elevator will take you to the top To get Arc Net outside the atmosphere.
You need to strap it to the escape rocket, above the capsule.
You do not want to be anywhere near this rocket when it takes off.
- Questions? - No. Thank you for everything, Colonel.
- Good job you got here. - Hey, thanks, thanks a lot bro!
- What did Griffin show you back there. - He showed me how important you are.
You and your partner.
Hey Look!, if everything goes right the way we
hope it does.We get out of here pretty quick.
So I'm not going to have a chance to say a proper goodbye.
If things go wrong we're not going to have a chance for either
I guess win or lose this is it
I see why I recruited you.
You're a good man.
Good man.
- What the hell happened to you? - Told you it still hasn't happened yet.
I will take this one!
You want to get a pedicure if you get a second.
And lift off.
Countdown. 2 minutes.
And all still go.
Astronaut announce that it feels good power transfer is complete.
Neil Armstrong has just reported, that its been a real smooth countdown.
Hey! Boris can you give me a hand?
Hey! Have you heard me calling you?
Boris the animal! Hey! Boris the animal!
It's just Boris!
- You're gonna lose! - Lets agree to disagree.
Heeei! Boris the animal!
July 16, 1969, 9:30
July 16, 1969, 9:31
July 16, 1969, 9:30.
- You're going to lose! - Lets agree to disagree.
Hey! Boris the animal!
- That's not possible! - Lets agree to disagree.
It's not possible!
K!
I win! I'm better than me!
That's my partner! That's my partner.
- We call this in or scrub the launch. - I haven't seen anything.
- Where's your partner? - Is back home!
- How is that? - I do not know.
Come! on.
Get Down!
Bingo! ...
Man, that's a next level stuff
You want to see more?, I know a a top-secret
organization that could use a man like you.
I Wish I could.
- Thank you. - Well, see you around, K!
Look out!!!
Go Ahead! Arrest me!
Not this time.
"Where there’s death there will always be death."
Daddy!! Daddy.
Hey! My name is K. Whats your name?
- James! - James! That’s a nice name.
Where's my Dad?
My Dad gave it to me.
What have you got there what is that?
Where is my Daddy?
He went to go do something very special.
And he wanted me to stay here and take care of his best pal.
When's he gonna be back?
He ...
James, if you look right here, I will tell you the only thing, you ever need to know.
- Your Daddy is a hero! - My Daddy is a hero?
- Want to walk with me. - Yes.
James!
You're late.
Sorry. I lost track of time.
How do you know that song?
Drink your coffee! We got work to do.
- What do you know, and what do you don't know?
- How the hell do I know what I don't know?
That's a really good question.
- Did we go to Woo's last night? - Yes.
- Boglodiets. - Did extent for 40 years.
Perfect. Did Did we talk on the phone last night?
- You hung up on me. - Yes, I did.
It was because of all those secrets the universe doesn't know about.
But I realized that last night was a long, long time ago.
- And I really just want to say thank you. - it has been my Privilege.
You know there is a really high possibility, now
that I might know some things you don't know
I doubt it.
I bet I know what went down between you and O.
She's a very fine lady but you know the rules: no fraternization between agents.
Well, I think you might have already fraternized once or twice.
This is my new favorite moment in human history.
Unless this is the one where K forgot forgot to leave a tip
I almost forgot.
That was a close one.
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